Hammer (Reapers Rejects MC Book 18) by Elizabeth Knox

Author:Elizabeth Knox [Knox, Elizabeth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knox Publishing
Published: 2021-04-18T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that wisened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow.

~ The Intuitive Wildflower

Shiloh

It’s been a few days since we had our bike ride out to the back part of the property, and I’ve found myself spending a lot more time with him. At first, I was nervous about being around him even more, but slowly I’ve convinced myself I deserve to be happy, that anyone who’s with me will love me for everything I am, even the bad and the ugly. Still, my demons continue to haunt me and nightmares have been plaguing my mind the last few days.

I go to bed with Hammer by my side and wake up with sweat covering my body, unsure if what I dreamt is my reality or a figment of my imagination. He’s woken up a couple of times during this, but I always reassure him I’m fine. I know he has questions. I’m not an idiot, and with the way he looks at me, I know I won’t be able to keep reassuring him I’m fine when I’m not.

Today is Friday and I have to be there at seven tonight for dinner at Capaldi’s. My mother lives in Salt Lake City and I need to get my butt moving if I’m going to make it there on time.

I’ve only naturally assumed he’d take me, and I haven’t bought an airplane ticket as a backup. Yet, I haven’t even asked the man if he’d go with me. I’m not going to lie. I’m scared to ask him to come because at some point I’ll have to explain things. I know I’ll freeze up, or goosebumps will spread across my body like wildfire. I know there will be some sort of reaction from me that grants a question from him. Even with it all, I need him there with me. I sit here on the edge of my bed, terrified he won’t be able to look at me the same after this, but knowing I need the support. There’s no way I’ll make it past the series of events this evening unless he goes with me.

Clearing my throat, I drum up the courage to walk out back where he was smoking a cigarette on the porch and ask him. “Hammer,” I start off, nervousness obvious as hell.

Immediately he turns to face me, raising a brow. “You alright? You sound like you’re about to tell me someone died.”

Of all people, he shouldn’t be the one joking about someone dying. His dad hasn’t, but I don’t believe things are getting any better over there. He hasn’t talked to me about anything for two days, but the last time he did, he got really upset. He’s been talking to me about Oakleigh, though, and how he’s learning more about the girl. It’s so crazy to think he had a daughter for all these years and never even knew she existed.

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